New Year, New ME?

So as 2009 has begun, everyone inadvertently starts thinking about how they can better him or herself in the New Year. My start is to begin this blog. I somehow think it'll help me map out life a little more and be able to prioritize what's important to me, and what just isn't. In the past (and by past I mean perusing through old Facebook photos), I've noticed that much of them are drunken photos I wish had never been taken to begin with. Now, there's nothing wrong with having a good time with good people, but sometimes you tend to think that acting in this manner and being so immature is normal. Everyone does it, right? Wrong. I need to start focusing on myself and I think I rang in the New Year in the best possible way this time around. Much champagne and some amazing friends who wouldn't ever dare dream of judging me for any of my actions. I hold them so very close and know they do the same. I want to keep surrounding myself around these kinds of people this year.

So what am I looking for in this New Year? I'm looking for job satisfaction and career changes. I'm looking for amazing travels. I'm looking forward to keeping my old friends and making new ones. I hope to meet more people who enlighten me and make me feel like anything's possible. I also hope to find love (or something like it). I know I'm only 22, but I've grown up faster than most 22 yr-olds. I'm not looking to hook up, be a drunken moron on 6th street, or play games. I'm looking for truth and reality - and maybe a glass of wine or two along the way :-)

I'm one of those people who is completely unaware of what he/she looks like. I don't know If I'm considered good looking or not, I'm just me. I've noticed though, that not knowing this makes me a little socially inadequate when looking for guys. I have no clue what goes on in their minds when my bar tab is way lower than it should be (free drinks because they're dumb and forgot to add it up or because I'm cute?), when they stare at me over and over (why is this kid staring at me or wow I want to get to know him?), or when someone I consider to be extremely good looking, the only thought in my head is "yeah right, why would he waste his time on me?," and I could go on. Thing is, I know what I'm looking for when it comes to a guy - single, gainfully employeed, good looking (to my standards, no one else's), smart, full of interests and passion. I'm so tired of finding good looking men who are only that - good looking. I've met freelance writers, coke addicts, and guys who work more part time jobs at restaurants than I can count. Hey, we all need to start somewhere I suppose, but thing is - I learn these men are all vampires. Yes, energy vampires. They have no idea what they're doing with their lives so they work their "whatever" jobs in order to not really think about it and just live. What they don't realize is that while "living" they suck the energy out of everyone they lay their eyes (fangs) on - whether through one night stands, endless games (usually over texts, oddly enough), and just true lack of personality. Maybe I'm being judgemental, but I'm just looking for someone who's normal, successful in their own craft, and isn't a vampire. Too much too ask? We'll see what 2009 has in store.

For now, I sit here on my couch with my first cold of the New Year. Being sick isn't very fun, but at least I have my trusty DVR to keep me company in times like these. Tomorrow, it's back to the real world at my cushy little corporate job. Much can change in the next couple of months career wise for me, or much can just stay the same. Only time will tell, but for now I'm going to just enjoy the fact that I'm alive and well, have amazing friends, and have so much life to look forward to in 2009. Nothing is impossible. That needs to be my new motto, definitely. I hope everyone's ready for this New Year and that it truly becomes something special!